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Author Archives: Kalani Perry
Yuck
Everyone makes 1000 mistakes. One more time just for old time’s sake.
She calls at four in the morning
She tells me, “I have to go to bed.”
“You’re fucking kidding. Now I’m up for the rest of the night? You know we live in different time zones, right? I’m three hours ahead? It’s four in the morning.”
“I just wanted to say good night.”
“Good night was six hours ago.” But I love her. I love [...]
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Sorry
“You broke me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s not enough.”
“What’s enough?”
“You go be sorry for ten years. You figure out a way you bring my youth back. You go back in time. You don’t hit my mom. You don’t hit me. Sorry? You’re sorry. I hate you.”
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Karma chameleon
I went to jail for 90 days for something I believe I didn’t do. What about you? What about your sins? How do you pay? With your emptiness? With your empty promiscuity? That has become your life. And what comes around? It always goes around eventually.
Posted in: Ideas + Words = Insight Tagged as: chameleon, emptiness, karma chameleon, promiscuity Leave a comment
The hurt
Where are you? I look and I can’t find you. Without you I have nothing and no one. How did we come to this place? How did you find me? Why did you find me? To make me want again? I had just smashed that need. And now it’s back. I don’t know to thank [...]
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I’ve fallen
It’s over. Thank you, God it’s over. I can see the light. I kiss grandma. I hug uncle. Then a voice rises. “Go back. You’re not finished yet. Go back.” It’s like a womb. It’s so warm and I don’t want to leave. “Your daughter. Your son. Go back.” I wake and I run home. [...]
Who again?
Who the fuck cares who gets caught in the middle? Left, right. 50-50. Everything is the same. We have to tear down the wall or nothing will ever be different. Nothing.
Do you want to see?
Do you want to see me bleed? Do you want to see me come? Do you want to see me fall? Do you want to see me stagger? Do you want to see me drunk? Do you want to see me sober? Everything. Small or large. Everything. It is all for you.
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Sobriety
“Why do you sound so well?”
“What do you mean?”
“Sober.”
“Because I’m sober. I could go get fucked up if you like and call back slurring.”
“I’d prefer you didn’t.”
“Then don’t ask if I’m fucking sober. It’s hard enough to be this way without being tested on it.”
“Calm down.”
“I am calm. Why don’t you fuck down a couple [...]
Different
I go to the office to pay rent. And I look at the guy behind the desk. I don’t mean this meanly. And I’m, like, this. This is what you want to do with your life. Fuck. We are so different.
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Food
Everyone gets everything they want. Don’t you see? That’s what’s the fucking problem.
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Necessities of us all
“Are you warm? Are you safe?”
How did it come to that? I love them. I need them. I want them. How did I fall so far that they feel like these are necessary questions?
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Weaponry
“Do you have any weapons?”
“That’s a stupid question.”
“What?”
“Almost anything in this room can be weaponized.”
“Are you carrying any weapons.”
“Did you not hear what I just said? That’s a stupid question.”
“What would you have me ask?”
“If my intent is to hurt you.”
“Is it?”
“No.”
“Wouldn’t that have been easier?”
“You’re missing the point.”
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Operation Ivy
“Daddy, daddy, daddy, I don’t like that music.”
“You’re going to grow up with something that fucking rocks. Your mom and sister can have Taylor Swift. Now listen to Mötorhead and to go to sleep. It sort of gets softer at the end of Overkill. And if you can’t sleep? Be glad you have a dad [...]
Posted in: Ideas + Words = Insight Tagged as: dad, daddy daddy, fucking rocks, mom, music, operation ivy, overkill, sleep, taylor swift Leave a comment
Banal
“Since when did banality and mediocrity become the norm.”
“But Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift are so sweet and talented.”
“No. No they’re not. They’re just as fucked up as the rest of us.”
“What do you want your kids listening to?”
“I don’t care I just want it coming from someplace.”
“Like Janis or Billie Holliday? They’re not very [...]
Posted in: Ideas + Words = Insight Tagged as: banality, billie holliday, good chance, good role models, justin bieber, mediocrity, norm, role model, taylor swift, vomit Leave a comment
Incarceration
Jail. I don’t think you should go if you haven’t been. And I don’t suggest you do. But it will define you. It will make you or, more likely, it will break you. Be hard all the time? See what falls.
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Uh
“I don’t like losing my temper. Especially around you but I didn’t lose that invoice.”
“But.”
“But? But? Toss my fucking account away and look at our past.”
“Okay.”
“Too late. fuck you.”
Hold
“I’m not beholden to you. I’m not beholden to me.”
“Let me.”
“Let you what?”
“Let me in. You can’t do this alone.”
“Do what?”
“Honey, let me in.”
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Knowledge
“You know too much.”
“You don’t know enough.”
“And look what it brought you.”
“That’s an easy thing to say. At least I love Emily Dickinson and punk rock.”
“And, so that makes you what?”
“I guess smarter and sadder than you.”
“Yes.”
“We’re still going to be the same dead in fifty years.”
“Nice.”
Posted in: Ideas + Words = Insight Tagged as: emily dickinson, fifty years, knowledge, punk rock Leave a comment
Art at any cost