Category Archives: Monologues
The truth?
Everybody is going to hurt you. You just have to find the ones worth suffering for.
Share this:
Memory is a wonderful thing if you don’t have to deal with the past
I thought I was going to be more sad. But it’s actually a relief. I even laughed. Today was full of miracles. A bomb threat at the courthouse giving me the three-day delay I needed? How the fuck does that happen? If I didn’t know it wasn’t me, I might have thought it was me. [...]
Also posted in: Journal Tagged as: bomb threat, deep breath, divorce, divorce song, inevitable moment, loaded gun, miracles, money, overwhelming sense, realization, rest of my life, summary judgment, waste of my time, wonderful thing Leave a comment
The Hold Steady, nuff said
If you’ve seen the movie I Heart Huckabees, then you’ll know how I feel about this song, Soft in the Center, to wit:
Well, the hospital is gonna let you go.
But the city is gonna stick around.
Yeah sure, the stars are in the sky.
But the money is still down on the ground.
Man, if money didn’t matter [...]
Posted in: Monologues Tagged as: bodies of water, dangerous place, i heart huckabees, long cold winter, love, money, stars sky, to tell the truth, water freeze, wit Leave a comment
Truth, justice, and blah, blah, blah
Surely, one of the most often repeated clichés from the lexicon of the American myth, is that an accused person is innocent until proven guilty, aka, The Presumption of Innocence. Those of you with the displeasure of running through the wrong side of the justice system (I just threw up a little bit in [...]
Also posted in: Journal Tagged as: american myth, blah blah, dead soldiers, google, personal belief, presumption of innocence, statute of limitations, third degree felony, travis county, truth justice Leave a comment
An imagined prologue to divorce. Oh, and Beck.
How is it possible that today, a niche-famous musician I’ve never met, only having admired him from this side of my ears, could accurately predict the thoughts in my head, from the speakers of my car, and in harmony no less? Even more impressive is the prediction manifest in a song, Cold Brains, released in [...]
Also posted in: Creative Tagged as: cold brains, famous musician, insider trading, interjection, permanent damage, prologue, prominence, sea change, song titles, thoughts in my head Leave a comment
Sad bastard music
Rational thought as a means to change is not often celebrated in love songs or happily ever-after-movies, but is the part of our consciousness best able to understand an end goal, modify ineffective strategies, repeat successful ones, and keep us on the enlightened path to self-actualization.
There are brain chemistry issues for some, but even [...]
Coincidences
Life is mostly wasting time, trying to avoid pain, and gorging on whatever we think will give us two seconds of pleasure. Whenever I’ve been foolish enough to trick myself otherwise, the pain has been tenfold because I wasn’t bracing for what I should have known was an inevitable blow.
You were evil, but I was [...]
Posted in: Monologues Tagged as: coincidence, coincidences, consciousness, god, human history, many things, pillows, seconds of pleasure, self disgust, self-awareness, timeline, wasting time Leave a comment
Monica’s gift to Hillary, and the worst part about everything
My first instinct was to prolong my ignorance. I didn’t want to know. Claims to the contrary are invented or imagined. Ignorance was lonely, but bearable, and lacked the inevitable apathy and casual cruelty that seemed to be the fate of knowing. The paradox, of course, is that the sheer audacity, once understood, brought calm [...]
Also posted in: Fragments Tagged as: consolation, deliberation, exit strategy, hillary clinton, infidelity, monica lewinsky, myths, peace, perjury, proclivities, public proclamations, rebuttal, sense of loss, sheer audacity, worst case scenario Leave a comment
Condescending asshole disorder
Intermittent explosive disorder is a behavioral pathology that manifests as anger, sometimes rage, disproportionate to the situation at hand, immediately followed by deep remorse. For something that sounds like an awesome excuse for every impulsive stupidity ever committed, I can’t quite get behind a disorder that sounds so much like what it is.
Also posted in: Fragments Tagged as: anger, asshole, diagnosis, excuse, intermittent explosive disorder, manifests, mental health, mental illness, pathology, rage, remorse, sounds, stupidity Leave a comment
Correlation, not causation
The tortured artist is one of the prototypical characters of modern pop culture, with examples across the spectrum of the creative process. And, it’s hard to articulate why this particular subset of artists grabs the yoke of people who struggle with mood disorders, but there is an obvious and tangible correlation. It’s not a coincidence [...]
One from the vaults: 7 April 1998
I found this excerpt from my journal from 11 years ago. Can you feel the angst? And yes, all of my journal entries were written for a potential audience, with the explicit goal of being perceived as clever. To wit:
Love, or more precisely the feeling that one is in possession of this emotion, is the [...]
Posted in: Monologues Tagged as: 11 years, 7 april, decisive factor, erotic relationship, excerpt from, explicit goal, inadequacy, journal entries, unacceptable risk, unemployment, vaults, Venice Leave a comment
Excuse me, I was choking on the irony
I have spent the last six hours in a Kafka-esque blur. I am attending mandated training meant to facilitate the mandated change in our corporate culture.
Posted in: Monologues Tagged as: blur, corporate culture, cynical, exercise, irony, kafka esque, microcosm, punk, six hours, talking points, the man Leave a comment
Twenty, maybe thirty, commandments, each crazier than the last
A large majority of people that describe themselves as religious literally do not know what they believe in. Let that sink in. It sounds oxymoronic, but it's true.
Posted in: Monologues Tagged as: bible moses, brainwashing, decalogue, hypocrisy, inculcation, indoctrination, israelites, mt sinai, rare exception, religion, religious training, veracity Leave a comment
You have free will because I said so
My favorite example of god’s love was his willingness to brutally torture and kill his own son as a symbol of sacrifice. That's a father-son story that really warms the heart.
The reformed apologist
It’s not out of place to read my opinions here. Some jokes. Mostly I enjoy inflicting theories, predominantly my own. And when I say “theories” in this context I mean unproven or unprovable hypotheses that are so consistent in correctly predicting an outcome that I regard them as true. The way evolution is true but [...]
Soliciting miracles from prostitutes
The public humiliation of any oleaginous preacher is usually cause for joy, but the fall of Ted Haggard, the poster child for self-righteous, hypocritical bastards, was sublime in a way that is often fantasized but rarely experienced. It happened almost three years ago in November 2006, but I still get school-girl giddy when I [...]
The actual ten commandments
The Ten Commandments
Exodus 34:13-28
I. Thou shalt worship no other god.
II. Thou shalt make thee no molten gods.
III. The feast of unleavened bread thou shalt keep.
IV. Six days thou shalt work, but on the seventh day thou shalt rest.
V. Thou shalt observe the feast of weeks, of the first fruits of wheat harvest, and the [...]
Posted in: Monologues Tagged as: feast of the passover, feast of unleavened bread, feast of weeks, first fruits, firstfruits, leaven, lord god, lord thy god, passover, religion, six days, ten commandments, wheat harvest Leave a comment
The frailest of gestures
I open the door and I can smell her before I see her, that unique amalgam of Camels, Maybelline, and chardonnay.
Also posted in: Creative, Fragments, History Tagged as: amalgam, camels, chardonnay, email, gestures, love, maybelline, short hairs, urgency Leave a comment
Five feet, five inches
I had only ever heard her tell one lie before but it was a lie that she often repeated. I should clarify. There were probably other lies. But, this is the only one for which I had confirmation. Her lies were never actual commissions. There were no claims of I was with so-and-so at so-and-so’s [...]
Also posted in: Creative, Fragments, History Tagged as: communication choices, condescension, entanglements, five feet, mock debate, poor communication, prose, quarter inches, seeds of doubt, self righteousness, slow progression Leave a comment
Creative
Fragments
History
Journal
Messages
Monologues
Facebook
last.fm
Subscribe
Twitter
God doesn’t play dice, I do