god | All The Fiction I Care To Remember

That southern thing

May

2013

Some of it is obvious. The drawl. But the longer I’m here, the more I listen, the more I am inclined to believe in ghosts. Things happen here in the shadows. Everybody knows the truth but no one’s quite ready to acknowledge it. Let alone say it. God forbid out loud. Maybe I’m reading too ...

The ghost of Eli

Jun

2012

Returns. And haunts us with his pain. Are we going to be punished? Shall we pay for the sins of Hophni and Phineas? Who pays? Someone always pays. Where is Hannah to sing her beautiful song to God? Who might save us from ourselves?

What’s on your mind for God’s sake

Jun

2012

“Just spit it out. Spit it out” “I sort of think we’re over” “We’ve been over for awhile.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I’ve been trying to be a nicer person.” “Good job.” “Fuck you too.”

Punk

Jun

2012

“You’re a drunk.” “You’re a punk.” “I’ve been one since I’ve known you.” “I thought you would grow up.” “Well, I’m never not going to be punk. I have it tattooed on me for god’s sake.” “Yeah I know.” “Do you think I would ever take it off? That is me.”

A ghost of elegies

May

2012

I don’t know about god, I just want to see her face. Please, lay your hands on me. Wake me up. I’m tired of sleeping. I need to rise.

Gargoyle

Apr

2012

“You know what you are? You’re a gargoyle. You’ve been around since the dawn of time and are very hard to get rid of.” “I’m your girlfriend.” “Not any more.” “You’re breaking up with me?” “No. I broke up with you about two months ago, I just never told you. God, that feels good. I ...

Sometimes

Mar

2012

It’s hard to sing with your soul. To let that voice, your true voice, out. Sometimes we are bigger than we are. And it makes it harder to be smaller again. Learn to live like a god, and you will be one. Feel it in the moment. Bigger, stronger. Everything all the time.

Life lessons

Mar

2012

Hold it, God, while you can. Maybe use your left hand. I’m going to bend right now. But lately every time I lay down. I can’t even close my eyes. You put me here. You made me what I am. If you exist. If you’re there. Make it end, please.

The teather

Mar

2012

“Hold on. Pull it in, pull it in, pull it in.” “Oh, god, why them? Why am I waiting for you? Why am I the fool? What am I missing? Why do I need you to pull me though?”

I’ve fallen

Jan

2012

It’s over. Thank you, God it’s over. I can see the light. I kiss grandma. I hug uncle. Then a voice rises. “Go back. You’re not finished yet. Go back.” It’s like a womb. It’s so warm and I don’t want to leave. “Your daughter. Your son. Go back.” I wake and I run home. ...

Prostitution

Jan

2012

“I think I’m in love with a hooker.” “Then we can’t hang out anymore.” “Prejudice.” “Are you kidding me? I hardly judge anything. Smell my balls for god’s sake.” “No thank you.” “I’m not judging. I just don’t want to be in that situation. Trust me I like hookers.” “Then walk away.” “I’ve already started ...

Melancholia

Nov

2011

I’m filled with gross sadness. The future looks brighter than it has in a long time, but I find myself having staccato bursts of five-second weeping. My friend says “You can’t look at yesterday, there’s only today and maybe not even tomorrow.” She’s right, of course. But my kids live in yesterday, today seems so ...

Wooly

Oct

2011

“Men are always surprised. When they do the right thing, they want congratulations for it. Yeah, you took out the garbage. Big deal.” “No, no, no, no, no you’ve got this wrong. It’s in our DNA.” “I don’t want to hear this.” “That’s because the truth stands in contrast to your statement.” “I guess I ...

Weird

Oct

2011

I haven’t even thanked god for saving me.

Feet

Oct

2011

Pick up your feet, little boy. It helps you pass things. God, how I do love you.

You and me? Babygirl we’re different.

Sep

2011

“But, Daddy, I….” “Absolutely not. Don’t even finish your sentence.” “But, Dad you don’t…” “I swear to God, not one more fucking word.”

This might be a little weird

Sep

2011

I don’t know if you remember the ’70s? But the vaginas were, um, hairy. Hustler scared me. Now they’re all bald. Believe me, I’m not complaining. Did god make a mistake? Should the stock model have been smooth? My libido would say (a resounding), “Yes.”

Divine

Jul

2011

I see a divinity. But I don’t see your God.

Prayer

Jul

2011

What kind of a God lets children die? You can pray to him. But it certainly won’t be me.

She gives sometimes

Jun

2011

“What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you shut up?” “God gave me many things but the first two she did were the strongest. Words. And audacity.”

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